Trespassers Will be Composted

If your garden is your sanctuary — and trespassers are potential mulch — this tee speaks your language.

Our “Trespassers Will Be Composted” T-shirt features a wickedly funny graphic of a suspiciously cheerful gardener holding a shovel, standing over a suspiciously fresh mound of soil. A flowerpot marks the scene. It’s dark. It’s earthy. It’s basically a warning sign with style.

Made from 100% soft cotton and printed with love (and slightly menacing humour) in Elgin, Scotland, this shirt is comfy enough for digging holes or just politely deterring door-to-door salespeople.

🌱 Why it’s unreasonably perfect:

Original cartoon-style artwork with compostable consequences

Long-lasting digital print that survives more washes than your average nosy neighbour

Breathable, soft-touch cotton, available S–3XL

Unisex fit for green thumbs and grave diggers alike

🎁 Perfect for:

Gardeners with a dark sense of humour

Passive-aggressive plant lovers

Housewarming gifts for people who really value their privacy

🖤 Note: Graphic colours may be tweaked slightly depending on shirt colour (i.e. white vs. black tee). The threat remains the same.